Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Imitation and Other Flatteries
This Thanksgiving brought two new advances in communication for Clara Grace. One of which her parents are quite thankful for, about the other, they are still deciding. The latter really should have been expected though. Every time Clara Grace’s Mommy or Daddy bragged to another parent how calm and benign their new baby was, the other parent would wag their head knowingly and predict, “Just give it a few weeks, then you’ll start hearing more from her.” Of course, Clara Grace’s Mommy chalked this all up to bitter parents who’d probably had colicky babies and were hoping for some company for their misery. Thanksgiving night brought the first enormous outburst from sweet little Clara Grace. Her Mommy made the very unwise mistake of changing her diaper before feeding her, and after watching the entire family gorge themselves on turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, and sweet potatoes, this was simply too much for Clara Grace to bear. Her parents responded to the tirade by feeding her immediately, and promising to purchase a wet wipe warmer the very next day, all the while assuring themselves that they do plan to implement a bit more discipline in the coming years. The other advance in communication took place that night after Clara Grace had regained her composure. She sat on her Grandma’s lap and watched while Grandma stuck in and out her tongue. After a moment, she responded by sticking out her own. They played this game for several minutes. Now, this had happened once before when Clara Grace’s Daddy was playing with her early one morning of her third week of life. She stuck out her tongue, so her Daddy stuck out his. They kept this up for several minutes until Clara Grace let loose an eruption in the diaper area. Her Daddy’s excitement faded immediately and he attributed the whole episode to gas. After everyone had left Thanksgiving night, Clara Grace’s skeptical Mommy asked Daddy to try the tongue game with her one more time to determine whether Clara Graces proud Grandma hadn’t been a little too hasty to attribute this new spark of intelligence to her five and a half week old grandbaby. Clara Grace played the game with Daddy for the second time, so that night, after her two o’clock snack, Clara Grace’s Mommy tried it out. Clara Grace smiled immediately and when her Mommy touched her lips, her tongue was sticking out just as everyone had said it would be. Clara Grace even advanced to making kissy mouths and went back and forth between the two. After a few rounds of the game, Clara Grace even grabbed hold of her Mommy’s finger and brought it to her own mouth. While feeding, changing and rocking the little baby have been wonderful, Clara Grace’s Mommy is extremely thankful and excited about this tiny window into her daughter’s growing mind.
Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater
“Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater had a wife and couldn’t keep her. Put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well.” The idea for these pictures originated with Clara Grace’s Nana who was visiting from Michigan. While she and Clara Grace’s Daddy were grocery shopping during the second week of her granddaughter’s life, she surveyed all the sad pumpkins not yet selected to be some child’s Halloween jack-o’-lantern. “I’ll buy one for you,” she told Clara Grace’s Daddy, “and you can carve it out and take a picture of her peaking out from the top.”
He was skeptical about the whole idea but he helped out, even so far as to swipe the perfect pumpkin from the caramel apple display on isle twelve and replace it with one of the slightly misshapen pumpkins they’d rejected from those on sale. Since Clara Grace’s parents were soon caught up in the tornado of dirty diapers, sponge baths, and midnight feedings, That might have been the end of that. The day before Thanksgiving however, Clara Grace’s Mommy decided that the soon to be rotten pumpkin should either be thrown away or put to good use. So, while Clara Grace’s Daddy scraped it out, her Mommy dressed her in a fall outfit and pumpkin hat she’d knit together while higher and much more talented powers were knitting Clara Grace together in her womb. Then, quite unceremoniously, Clara Grace’s parents stuffed her into the large vegetable and asked her to “smile.”
Here may have occurred their first monumental parenting goof. Fortunately, there were no physical ill effects, although they are still waiting to see the psychological ramifications. The pumpkin, being a round object, with added wiggling from Clara Grace, naturally began to topple. Fortunately, Clara Grace’s Mommy caught it before it spilled its occupant to the grass. Did this traumatic setback put a stop to picture taking? Of course not. Clara Grace’s Daddy placed a wedge-shaped log behind the pumpkin and after this improvement everything went very well. Clara Grace really got into this photo shoot, smelling, feeling, and even licking her new surroundings. Her parents are confident she will be a big pumpkin eater just like themselves.
He was skeptical about the whole idea but he helped out, even so far as to swipe the perfect pumpkin from the caramel apple display on isle twelve and replace it with one of the slightly misshapen pumpkins they’d rejected from those on sale. Since Clara Grace’s parents were soon caught up in the tornado of dirty diapers, sponge baths, and midnight feedings, That might have been the end of that. The day before Thanksgiving however, Clara Grace’s Mommy decided that the soon to be rotten pumpkin should either be thrown away or put to good use. So, while Clara Grace’s Daddy scraped it out, her Mommy dressed her in a fall outfit and pumpkin hat she’d knit together while higher and much more talented powers were knitting Clara Grace together in her womb. Then, quite unceremoniously, Clara Grace’s parents stuffed her into the large vegetable and asked her to “smile.”
Here may have occurred their first monumental parenting goof. Fortunately, there were no physical ill effects, although they are still waiting to see the psychological ramifications. The pumpkin, being a round object, with added wiggling from Clara Grace, naturally began to topple. Fortunately, Clara Grace’s Mommy caught it before it spilled its occupant to the grass. Did this traumatic setback put a stop to picture taking? Of course not. Clara Grace’s Daddy placed a wedge-shaped log behind the pumpkin and after this improvement everything went very well. Clara Grace really got into this photo shoot, smelling, feeling, and even licking her new surroundings. Her parents are confident she will be a big pumpkin eater just like themselves.
Third Time's the Charm
Big, big news! On Saturday, November 19, Clara Grace completed her very first art project. The bidding starts at $2000 for all the Grandparents. It is a serious, somewhat abstract, piece entitled “Brush Fire.”
This project is bound to become a Paulson family tradition. It all started one autumn about three years ago in Morgantown Kentucky when the fall leaves were incredibly bright. Clara’s Mommy had a wild and albeit, frivolous notion of collecting the best colors she could find and constructing a collage. Some might be wondering, “Did she not get enough experiences like this in her abundant childhood?” or, “Did she not have better things to do?” Those People, however, have surely never lived in the self-proclaimed “Catfish Capital of the World" known as Morgantown.
Once she and her compliant husband had scoured the vicinity, plundering neighbor’s trees by night and tramping through briar patches all to obtain the very best colors, they laid them out to be admired on the kitchen floor. Somewhere in the sorting process it occurred to Clara Grace’s Mommy that all the colors and all of their gradations could be found somewhere in fire. Of course, after this she was no longer content with a simple collage, no, this would be a true work of art. Somewhere along the way, Clara’s Daddy became just as enthusiastic about the project--one of the many reasons Clara Grace’s Mommies had married him in the first place. He glued the leaves to poster board, arranging them with dark brown for a first coat, then working from top to bottom in order to hide the stems, purple for the sky, medium orange for a background coat of fire, bright yellow for the flames, red for coals, and light and dark brown for kindling. He even threw in his artistic flare suggesting some bright red, teardrop shaped leaves they’d swiped from a bush be leaping tongues of their fire. Once they’d mounted the final leaf, they placed the work in a plastic frame purchased from Wal-Mart and adorned their humble wall. Clara Grace’s Mommy, who had a flare for puns, certainly not one of the reasons Clara’s Daddy had married her in the first place, christened the work “Brush Fire.”
All was well for several days, and then, inevitably, the whole collage turned brown and crinkly. Clara’s Mommy and Daddy were dumbfounded. Hadn’t the Wal-Mart frame been airtight? Next year, they vowed would be different.
And so it was, the next autumn “Brush Fire II” adorned their walls in lamination and was even larger and more colorful than before. They learned however, that it is very difficult--nearly impossible--to slow the relentless tug of disorder and decay on all fallen nature. And even when the long awaited photograph they taken this year, just in case on the odd chance lamination failed, finally returned from Wal-Mart’s labs, they were bitterly defeated once more. Only small parts of colorful leaves poked through the glare of flash on the shiny plastic laminate. In the wake of such defeat, the next autumns passed without seeing any leaf paintings.
Then Clara’s Daddy had the brilliant idea to not even attempt to preserve the work but to capture one second of it in digital format, thus the creation of “Brush Fire III” which you now see before you. By this time, a new member had joined the Paulson family. Clara Grace’s parents appointed her Chief Supervisor as well as Leaf Collecting and Feeling Assistant. It is their hope that in upcoming years they can promote her to Chief Color Sorter, Chief Selector, and even Concept and Design Manager.
This project is bound to become a Paulson family tradition. It all started one autumn about three years ago in Morgantown Kentucky when the fall leaves were incredibly bright. Clara’s Mommy had a wild and albeit, frivolous notion of collecting the best colors she could find and constructing a collage. Some might be wondering, “Did she not get enough experiences like this in her abundant childhood?” or, “Did she not have better things to do?” Those People, however, have surely never lived in the self-proclaimed “Catfish Capital of the World" known as Morgantown.
Once she and her compliant husband had scoured the vicinity, plundering neighbor’s trees by night and tramping through briar patches all to obtain the very best colors, they laid them out to be admired on the kitchen floor. Somewhere in the sorting process it occurred to Clara Grace’s Mommy that all the colors and all of their gradations could be found somewhere in fire. Of course, after this she was no longer content with a simple collage, no, this would be a true work of art. Somewhere along the way, Clara’s Daddy became just as enthusiastic about the project--one of the many reasons Clara Grace’s Mommies had married him in the first place. He glued the leaves to poster board, arranging them with dark brown for a first coat, then working from top to bottom in order to hide the stems, purple for the sky, medium orange for a background coat of fire, bright yellow for the flames, red for coals, and light and dark brown for kindling. He even threw in his artistic flare suggesting some bright red, teardrop shaped leaves they’d swiped from a bush be leaping tongues of their fire. Once they’d mounted the final leaf, they placed the work in a plastic frame purchased from Wal-Mart and adorned their humble wall. Clara Grace’s Mommy, who had a flare for puns, certainly not one of the reasons Clara’s Daddy had married her in the first place, christened the work “Brush Fire.”
All was well for several days, and then, inevitably, the whole collage turned brown and crinkly. Clara’s Mommy and Daddy were dumbfounded. Hadn’t the Wal-Mart frame been airtight? Next year, they vowed would be different.
And so it was, the next autumn “Brush Fire II” adorned their walls in lamination and was even larger and more colorful than before. They learned however, that it is very difficult--nearly impossible--to slow the relentless tug of disorder and decay on all fallen nature. And even when the long awaited photograph they taken this year, just in case on the odd chance lamination failed, finally returned from Wal-Mart’s labs, they were bitterly defeated once more. Only small parts of colorful leaves poked through the glare of flash on the shiny plastic laminate. In the wake of such defeat, the next autumns passed without seeing any leaf paintings.
Then Clara’s Daddy had the brilliant idea to not even attempt to preserve the work but to capture one second of it in digital format, thus the creation of “Brush Fire III” which you now see before you. By this time, a new member had joined the Paulson family. Clara Grace’s parents appointed her Chief Supervisor as well as Leaf Collecting and Feeling Assistant. It is their hope that in upcoming years they can promote her to Chief Color Sorter, Chief Selector, and even Concept and Design Manager.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Easier Said than Done
During early morning hours, Clara Grace’s daddy liked to play with her on the futon. This playtime served the double purpose of seeing his baby girl before leaving for work and providing her mommy with a few solid hours of sleep. During one of these morning snuggles, Clara Grace reached out lovingly toward her daddy’s face. He looked on in tender wonderment as the little fingers stretched forward and grasped his chin. Unfortunately, the moment was broken seeing as how Clara Grace’s daddy had not shaved yet. The little girl let out a bloodcurdling wail. “Well, let go, then.” Her daddy said, but apparently this was easier said than done. In the end, he mercifully pulled Clara Grace’s hand off of his prickly stubble.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Blanket Skills
On a chilly November morning, Clara Grace’s daddy lay under a fleecy blanket with his new daughter. The feel of the covers seemed to interest the newborn. Back and forth she whipped the blanket until once it fell completely covering her face. The fun game was forgotten instantly, this was an emergency, which called for wailing. Clara Grace’s daddy lifted the covers and much to the three-week-old girl’s relief, the world, as she had recently come to know it, returned to normal.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Get Your Goat
Clara Grace’s mommy has known her for just under a month, but is already convinced she is the best baby girl in the whole world. First of all, she smiles absolutely all the time. It started ten minutes after she was born when she saw her daddy and mommy for the first time. Ever since then she’s been smiling at everyone in the family. Her mommy admits: some of the smiles do seem to be followed shortly after by gas, but certainly not all. Also, there is the way she cries, even that is adorable. It is not anything like a typical baby cry. Her cry is much more throaty and low. when she is very tired and very put out, her voice undulates exactly like a little goat. Also, about her cry, it isn’t demanding or incessant at all. In fact, most times, she only let’s her parents know she wants something by a one syllable, quick but forceful “Wa!.” All of this bodes well for a nice personality and she is cute to boot.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
All's Well that Ends Well
Thursday night, November the 11th, Clara Grace woke her Mommy up at 3:30. This was right on schedule, so her mommy dutifully climbed out of bed and took Clara Grace to enjoy her between midnight snack and breakfast meal. But rather than eating, Clara Grace close her mouth tight and feigned sleepiness. In order to avoid being awakened yet another time, her Mommy decided to change Clara Grace’s diaper first and then feed the baby. Her mommy had only time to comment “well, that’s not a very full diaper little girl,” before the entire front of her nursing gown was splattered with runny poop. It was at that precise moment when Clara Grace woke up and began screaming uncontrollably. Her mommy attempted to sooth her, reminding her that at least she wasn’t the one with goopy stuff dripping all down her front, but this had no effect. In the end, Clara Grace settled down after she realized she hadn’t missed her meal after all. Also, her mommy was able to get her gown off without getting poop in her hair, so all’s well that ends well.
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