In The Holiday Spirit

Could it be called anything but ironic that Clara Grace said “Thank you, Daddy" unprompted, for the very first time, as he set lunch on her tray Thanksgiving Day?

An Exercise In Humility

Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy pushed the long double stroller passed their town’s new liquor store during their evening constitutional on Wednesday, November the twenty-second. "At least it looks a little classier than most,” Clara Grace’s daddy said ruefully of the establishment. “They’ve made an effort with the wought iron wine wacks.”

“With the what?” Clara Grace’s mommy teased.

“You say it then,” he challenged. So they attempted the tongue twister of their own creation all the rest of the way to the grocery store.

As they neared their destination, Clara Grace’s mommy joked, “Clara Grace, can you say, wrought iron wine rack?” The parents were more than a little shocked and slightly chagrined to hear an almost perfect rendition issue from their daughter in the stroller on her very first attempt.

More Than Words Can Say

Clara Grace could not seem to get enough time with her new baby brother. “Come here, come here,” she often soothed as she wrapped her arms around his body as if to carry him from her mommy’s lap dispite his weight being over half her own. “Everett’s arms,” she constantly announced proudly patting and admiring her brother’s stumpy appendages, “Everett’s hands, Everett’s fingers.” At the slightest sound of discomfort from her baby brother, Clara Grace was immediately by his side patting his tummy vigorously and sounding the alarm, “Ah oh, Everett crying. Everett crying.” “Where’s Everett go?” was her regular inguiry whenever she and her mommy found themselves in a quiet house with a sleeping baby and “Want to see Everett,” was her constant request whenever the baby is in view. There was one phrase however which continued to baffle Clara Grace’s mommy. “Look-a-lump, look-a-lump,” Clara Grace was often heard cooing over the little boy. Her mommy gathered that the expression most certainly conveyed tenderness as it was always accompanied by all manner of hugs, kisses, and pats. The word for word meaning of this term eluded her though. Perhaps the expression is one of those rare ones for which there is no sufficient translation to convey the emotion in the limited vocabulary of our language.

Big Sister Sentiments

Up until Saturday, November the eighteenth, Clara Grace had shown absolutely no signs of that all too common aloofness big sisters aquire toward their younger brothers. Almost every morning on being released from her crib, her first question was, “Where’s Everett go?” That morning started out as no exception. “Want to see Everett,” Clara Grace persisted as she tagged along behind her daddy who carried the baby much too high for her to inspect properly. Obligingly, Clara Grace’s daddy knelt down and put Everett on eye level with his big sister. Unfortunately, but not altogether inconceivably due to the high frequence of that occurance, Everett chose that moment to spit up a healthy amount of his freshly consumed breakfast. "Everett spit,” Clara Grace informed her daddy, confident of the disapproval this action always gains her at the dinner table. Surprisingly, when no paternal reprimand was forthcoming, the big sister took the task upon herself. “Gross!” she announced definitively and then ran into the bedroom to tell her mommy enthusiastically, “Everett spits! Everett is gross!”

Hard Headed

Clara Grace pulled the shopping cart through the wide isles of the grocery store on the evening of Saturday, November the eleventh. As she approached the check-out lane, she realized from the slight drag that she was not in total control of the cart. Incredulous, she stopped in her tracks to tell her daddy just what she thought of that, but unfortunately, the cart did not stop as quickly and the little girl got a knock on the noggen. Of course, some crying was warranted and of course, a sympathetic cashier came running. “What happened?” she asked Clara Grace’s daddy.

“I bonked my head,” Clara Grace answered her.

“Did she just say she bonked her head?” the astonished cashier asked.

By this time, Clara Grace’s crying had lessened considerably. She’d only been in this new Bi-Lo a handful of times, but already she recognized the unique power which the cashier’s uniform worn in this store bestowed. “I want a sticker please,” she sniffled hopefully.

“Here you are darling,” the clerk brightened at a chance to make the little girl’s tears go away and pealed one of the “PAID” black and white cow stickers away from the waxy paper roll. The cashier reached out to stick the stickers which left the store on all milk jugs and almost all children to Clara Grace’s shirt.

“Me do it,” Clara Grace informed her exhibiting the same stubborn independence which had gotten her head bonked in the first place.

Do Ray Me

It was sometime during the month of October, just before Clara Grace turned two years old, when she truly began singing in earnest. Many autumn mornings she spent rocking on the porch swing with her mommy and requesting one song after another. “Sing the duck song,” or "Sing the baby song.” She drank in every word often singing along one phrase behind until she had masterd it. By the end of the month, her mommy could no longer count the number of songs Clara Grace knew by heart.

Kavetching

Clara Grace often listened to programs on public radio as she rode around town with her mommy and daddy. Up to Friday, November the tenth though, her parents were of the opinion that their little girl was interested more in the scenery outside the window than the riveting commentary that flowed from the speakers. That afternoon a commentator interviewed an expert on Yiddish customs and colloquialisms. When Clara Grace’s daddy pulled into the driveway and began unbuckling her seatbelt, the little girl bemoaned, “Oy daddy.” He smiled and asked, “Are you hungry, Clara Grace?” Oy, hungry,” his daughter kavetched.

Everyone's A Comedian

Riding home Halloween night, Clara Grace sucked proudly on the fruits of her labor. “Like a lollypop, like a lollypop.” She chanted excitedly.

“You like licking lollypops?” her mommy laughed.

Clara Grace was amused and continued her joke, “Like a lollypop, like a lollypop.” She chanted faster and faster with only momentary pauses for licking. When this phrase no longer evoked polite chuckles from her mommy and daddy though, she sought for another tactic. It was then the little girl stumbled upon word substitution, the first stage of toddler humor, or so her mommy had read. “Like a mommy pop. Like a mommy pop.” She continued all the way home.

Share And Share Alike

The day before Halloween, Clara Grace’s mommy practiced the time-honored phrase for procuring candy with her hopeful little girl. Unfortunately, the thought of all those sugary delights seemed to make remembering new vocabulary something of a Herculean challenge.

“Okay, if you want candy you need to knock on the door and say ‘trick or treat.” Her mommy told her.

“”Trickeetree.” Clara Grace repeated.

“Right,” her mommy smiled encouragingly then closed the sunroom doors.

Clara Grace, in her cowgirl hat and bandana, knocked just as she’d been told then eyed the package of smarties in her mommy’s hand hungrily.

“What do you say?” her mommy prompted.

“Candy,” Clara Grace answered.

“No,” her mommy waited.

“More candy,” Clara Grace tried, her eager fingers outstretched.

“Nope,” her mommy said with a sigh.

“More candy, please,” Clara Grace attempted, this time remembering her manners.

Her mommy began slowly, “Well, that’s good, but—“

“More candy, more candy, more candy!” the little girl chanted in an escalating panic.

Her mommy tried one more time. “What do you say to get candy on Halloween?”

Clara Grace looked longingly at the sweets, and then at last a word did come to her. The word which her mommy so often used to persuade her to turn a cherished item over. “Share the candy,” Clara Grace instructed.

A Case Of Mistaken Identity

Clara Grace sat beside her mommy on the morning of Tuesday, October the twenty-fourth. Everett, the tiny one-month-old baby on Mommy’s lap, was still the most interesting playtoy in the house. All at once, they both heard an abnormally loud rumble which could only mean one thing. “Whoa,” Clara Grace commented in surprise and drew her hand back momentarily. “What do you think that was?” her mommy teased. The little girl looked once more at her tiny brother on her mommy’s lap and responded without hesitation, “mommy pooped.”

Please And Thank You

Clara Grace learned very quickly that the bank serves one purpose only and that is the withdrawal of suckers. On the afternoon of Monday, October the twenty-third, she waited while her daddy did whatever it was that he did at the drive through teller and then called through her open window, “lollypop please!” The amused teller sent two of the sugary treats through the underground tunnel. “Thank you,” Clara Grace called much to the teller’s delight. “Window up please,” the little girl told her daddy.

Mighty Fine Motor Skills

Clara Grace sat beside her mommy and baby brother on the couch Monday, October the sixteenth. Her mommy was feeding Everett and talking to Clara Grace about all the things left to do before they could leave for the park that morning. “Do you know where your shoes are?” she asked the little girl. “Yeah,” Clara Grace answered and ran off toward her room. “Found it!” she called and ran to join her mommy on the couch again. When Everett had finally finished eating around ten minutes later, Clara Grace’s mommy was shocked to discover her not even two-year-old daughter had already wriggled into her own footwear and even refastened the Velcro.

All In The Timing

Clara Grace wiggled and squirmed in her daddy’s arms at the checkout line on Saturday, October the fourteenth. “What are you doing?” her daddy finally asked as he noticed the curious stares of onlookers directed his way. To his mortification, Clara Grace replied very loudly and enthusiastically, “I’m Sooooo poopy!”

Reach Out And Touch Someone

Clara Grace waited in the Hobby Lobby checkout line with her daddy more or less patiently on the afternoon of Thursday, October the twelfth. Curiously, the toddler slipped under the chain and into an abandoned cashier’s station. Her daddy watched the little girl closely but didn’t see anything in too much danger at the moment.

“Good afternoon,” Clara Grace’s daddy heard the cashier from his line announce cheerfully and realized she was addressing him. Just as he was about to swipe his card at the end of his purchase, a sound from the abandoned lane caught his attention.

“Hello, hello?” a confused voice inquired through the speakerphone.

Clara Grace stared wide-eyed at the unusual phone trying to remember which of the hundreds of interesting buttons had evoked this response. She couldn’t believe her luck, perhaps checkout lines weren’t really so boring after all. There was only one female voice which regularly spoke to her through such a contraption. She answered excitedly, “Hello, hello Nana!”

If I Do Say So Myself

As the mail truck pulled away on Wednesday, October the eleventh, Clara Grace and her Daddy went out the front door to retrieve what he had left in their box. “Checking the mail,” the little girl announced conversationally on the way down the sidewalk. “There goes an orange cat,” she told her Daddy and pointed at her old friend across the street. “Walking away,” she sighed sadly as the cat quickly scampered under a car. She watched her Daddy flip through the stack of envelopes and in the absence of any forthcoming praise, she finally announced, “talking so well.”

Bumps In The Road

Clara Grace found her daddy doing yard work on the morning of Wednesday, October the eleventh. Blissfully unaware of his current state of productivity, she decided to use him as a human highway for her tiny fire truck. “Up the leg,” she told him as the red engine plowed up his worn blue jeans. “Drive on tummy,” she continued as the truck made a U-turn along her Daddy’s old T-shirt. “Down the leg. Ah oh pocket,” she announced as the fire truck veered into the deep and unexpected pothole.

The Grass Is Always Greener

Clara Grace and her mommy sat reading a book together on the couch the morning of Tuesday, October the tenth. Suddenly, as though a new idea had come to her, the little girl reached for a second book that lay on the coffee table in front of them and handed it to her mommy. “Read too,” she told her and in quite a grown up air scooted a few inches away to open her own book. She began perusing the story she had chosen with occasional comments each time she turned a page such as, “Elephant walking in grass. Agalator jumping in water.”

Her mommy took the cue and began to read her own book with great interest. “Ah ha, there’s Elmo,” she announced quietly, and then, “Oh, look! What is Oscar doing?”

Reluctantly, Clara Grace peered around the cover of her own book and into her mommy’s. After a few more page turns and fascinated remarks from her mommy, she could bare it no longer. “Share,” she announced and offered her book in exchange.

“Okay,” Clara Grace’s mommy said in agreement to the swap.

In the same manner as before Clara Grace dove into her new book. She flipped the pages excitedly and exclaimed “Elmo, brushing teeth, Ahhh!”

Meanwhile, her mommy flipped a few rigid pages of the board book her daughter had discarded and commented, “Oh no, the hog is scared.”

Clara Grace’s page turning faltered and again she peeked around the corner of her book.

“Mama raccoon and baby raccoon are playing,” her mommy continued. By this time, Clara Grace was unabashedly reading over her mommy’s shoulder and it was clear she was having second thoughts about this new plan of hers. “Share,” she instructed her mommy once more, only this time, she took her mommy’s book and kept the other safely stowed beside her.

Growing Up

To her bewildered mommy, Clara Grace seemed to have suddenly transformed into a grown child. Everyone had warned her of this phenomenon, but she honestly believed that her perception of her baby girl was accurate enough to remain unshakeable even after she returned from the hospital with a helpless and tiny infant in her arms. All children grow up however, and Clara Grace’s mommy soon saw in alarming clarity with a mixture of regret and pride how the gradual effects of almost two years had worked their inevitable effects of change over her baby daughter.

The first time Clara Grace’s mommy kissed the top of her daughter’s head, she was utterly surprised at what now felt more like a Kindergartner’s curly noggin than the little baby’s soft brow she had left just days earlier. And when she rocked Clara Grace on the first day home, she couldn’t help wondering how she’d missed the way her baby girl’s head and long legs dangled over the arms of the rocking chair completely unlike the curled up baby girl she had remembered from less than a week ago.

Not only had the toddler seemed to grow physically, but her vocabulary and syntax had multiplied by leaps and bounds as well. On Friday, two days after Everett arrived, Clara Grace snuggled beside her mommy and baby brother on the sofa and pretended to sleep like her baby brother. “Are you sleepy?” her mommy asked quietly.

“Sleepy,” Clara Grace answered.

“Are you ready for your nap?” her mommy inquired.

“Okay,” Clara Grace replied.

“All right, let’s go to your bed then,” her mommy said and began to stand.

Clara Grace’s head popped up from the cushion in alarm and she shouted, “No!”

“But you said you were sleepy,” her mommy told her.

“Want to sleep on the couch,” Clara Grace informed her and then snuggled back onto the cushion.

That night, Clara Grace awoke uncharacteristically in the early hours of the morning. Her daddy checked in on her to determine the problem. "What’s the matter?” he asked his little girl.

“Fires on floor,” she told him dejectedly and looked wistfully through the crib’s bars at her discarded pacifiers.

“Why are they on the floor?” her daddy asked in an attempt to find the underlying cause of the night’s disturbance.

“I dropped them,” Clara Grace admitted ruefully.

“And why did you drop them?” her daddy persisted. “Hungry,” Clara Grace replied, “Need food.”

Floored by his one year old daughter’s grasp of cause and effect, Clara Grace’s daddy asked patiently, “Do you think you can wait till morning when we’ll eat a big breakfast?”

Clara Grace thought for a long moment and then answered, “Wait.”

Her daddy rocked her until the little girl told him drowsily, “Want to go to sleep in bed.”

Baby @ Work

Clara Grace’s daddy took her to work with him on the morning of Friday, October the sixth. The day was designated as professional development, so he selflessly decided to allow the energetic toddler to accompany him and provide a few hours of rest for his wife and new baby boy. The first activity on the agenda was a session on “Brain Dance,”--one of the latest trends in education involving stimulation through movement to improve learning.

Once Clara Grace’s daddy had successfully interested his daughter in cooking at the play kitchen area, he joined the other teachers who were beginning relaxation techniques in the center of the Kindergarten classroom. “Stand with your feet on the floor,” the instructor directed in a soothing monotone.

“Where else would they be?” Clara Grace’s daddy wondered sarcastically.

“Let your feet sink deep into the floor,” the instructor continued.

“They’re as deep as they’re going to get,” Clara Grace’s daddy reflected silently.

“Now lie on your backs,” the instructor directed and Clara Grace’s Daddy obeyed grateful for the chance of a moment to close his sleep-deprived eyes. No sooner had he finally begun to give in to the feeling of relaxation when he heard the familiar “jingle, jingle, jingle,” of his daughter’s rapidly approaching shoes. “Ooof!” he grunted as twenty-five pounds of toddler landed squarely on his chest and lungs.

“Feel your body sinking into the floor,” the instructor carried on obliviously dispite the snickers from every corner of the room. Spurred on by the laughter, Clara Grace decided the grown ups area had far more potential for entertainment than the play kitchen. She scanned the room and decided to join in with this strange ritual by lying on the ground and performing her best imitation of snoring. “Sleeping,” she informed the room in case anyone had mistaken her performance.

Then, she glanced at her daddy’s half drunk coffee mug and announced, “Need some coffee.”

“Did she just say that she needed some coffee,?” one of the teacher’s asked incredulously.

“It’s not how it looks," Clara Grace’s daddy attempted to explain.

Baby Logic

Clara Grace’s mommy had done her best to prepare the little girl for the earth shattering arrival of a new sibling in the home. In the beginning, this had been done through requests for the toddler to please refrain from kicking or bouncing on mommy’s tummy, seeing as how a tiny baby lived inside. She further explained that the baby was getting bigger and bigger and soon would come out to play with his big sister. Clara Grace showed interest in the concept by continually asking her mommy to sing the “Baby song” which had been improvised for the occasion. Even so, her mommy couldn’t be sure whether the full magnitude of the coming event was fully realized by her little girl.

During the last week of pregnancy however, Clara Grace talked more and more about her little brother, almost as though her anticipation was mounting along with the rest of her family’s. On Thursday morning, four days before her brother’s arrival, Clara Grace commented to her mommy during a diaper change, , “Baby Brother coming.”

Her Mommy replied, “You’re right, baby Brother is coming soon."

Clara Grace carried the conversation further by stating matter of factly, “Baby Brother coming out door.”

With the imminent day approaching, her mommy reflected wistfully of a delivery where things could really be that simple. On Saturday morning, the day before her baby brother arrived, Clara Grace patted her mommy’s stomach during another philosophical diaper change and said, “Baby in tummy.”

Her mommy answered, “You’re right, there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy.” Clara Grace thought for a moment then reflected empathetically on what must seem like an eternal imprisonment for her baby brother, “Baby in time out?”

Pacifier Debate

Clara Grace bounded to meet her daddy as he came home from work on the afternoon of Friday, September the twenty-ninth. After greeting him with a hug she asked, “Fire, please,” which meant she would like a pacifier. Once her daddy had retrieved her precious pacification device, she decided to press her luck with a further request. “Two fires?” ventured the hopeful little girl. “How many mouths do you have?” her daddy asked rhetorically. “One, two,” Clara Grace replied slyly. “One mouth, one fire,” her daddy answered without wavering. Clara Grace stood thoughtfully for a moment and then made her final plea, “Two hands, two fires.” With their one-year-old daughter’s current level of reasoning and verbal repartee, her mommy and daddy have high hopes for a prosperous future in law.

Playtime Etiquette

Clara Grace and her mommy enjoyed a play date with Nicholas, one of Clara Grace’s best friends on the morning of Thursday, September the twenty-eighth. The two toddlers giggled almost uncontrollably as they raced each other to the top of the two slides in Clara Grace’s back yard then sped shooting down. Then came a very proud moment for Clara Grace’s mommy as Nicholas decided to switch slides. The little girl stepped back allowing Nicholas to pass, looked at her mommy and announced, “Share, share slide.”

Phonics

Clara Grace proudly pushed the letter “B” on the refrigerator to hear the sound it made on the morning of Tuesday, September the nineteenth. “B-b-b,” she told her mommy enthusiastically. “You’re right,” her mommy encouraged, “’B’ says ‘b’ like b-b-b-baby or b-b-b-ball.” Clara Grace considered this for a moment then surprised her mommy by saying, “B-b-b-book!”

What Happened in Shoe?

Clara Grace’s Daddy got her dressed on the morning of Saturday, September the sixteenth. As her daddy hurried through the finishing touches of shoes and socks, Clara Grace exclaimed suddenly, “Ah! What happened in shoe?” Her daddy reexamined the situation only to find a crumpled sock stuffed all the way in the shoe’s toe. When the little girl heard her mommy repeating this story and the laughter it received, she commented “Funny joke,” and often repeated, “What happened in shoe, ha ha ha!” as her feet were shod.

The Last Inhibition

Clara Grace’s daddy removed his little girl’s wet pajamas and snapped a new diaper in place on the morning of Saturday, September the sixteenth. Clara Grace exclaimed, “Ouch! Hurt foot! Foot hurts! After kicking her big toe on the wooden rail of the diaper table. Miserably, she glanced up at her daddy and requested, “Kiss it?” Her daddy, who would normally do anything to wipe away his daughter’s pain, was more than slightly reluctant on this particular occasion owing to the fact that Clara Grace had completely soaked her pajamas and sheets the past night. In the spirit of compromise, her daddy offered, “I’ll kiss your cheek,” but Clara Grace wiggled her tiny toes and replied, “No, kiss foot.” Upon seeing his options were none, her daddy gingerly kissed the very tip of the little girl’s big toe. “Hug it?” Clara Grace persisted and of course, her daddy eventually succumbed to this request as well.

Consider the Consequences

Clara Grace’s daddy balanced her high up on the afternoon of Friday, September the fifteenth. She eyed the enormous and inactive ceiling fan and pleaded, “Up, up fan.” To her surprise, she stretched out her hand and actually moved the giant blade. As the fan slowly rotated away from her, she waved and called, “Bye bye fan.” Predictably though, the next blade in line followed and gently tapped the back of her head. “Bonk the head,” she announced in surprise.

Calling Us Names

Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy woke her early from her nap on the afternoon of Wednesday, September the fourteenth for her mommy’s doctor’s appointment. Their daughter popped up from the mattress as they tiptoed into the room and greeted them, “Jeff, Marcy!” Needless to say, this was quite a shock to the parents who weren’t even aware that their little girl knew their names. “Hopefully if she regresses when her baby brother is born, she’ll go back to calling us mommy and daddy,” her daddy mused.

Danger Baby Robinson

Clara Grace played with her daddy in the department store on the evening of Saturday, September the eleventh. “Crawl under here,” he urged his little girl pointing out one of the doughnut shaped clothes racks under which he had spent many happy hours while his own mommy shopped. Clara Grace wasn’t interested though, so her daddy attempted one more tack. “Be careful,” he warned and glanced ominously once more at the hanging garments, “be very careful!”

Immediately, Clara Grace looked back at the rack with renewed interest. She pushed through the clothes glancing over her shoulder every few seconds and grinning at her daddy. One can only wonder what activities this daredevil attitude will lead to in the future.

Mailbaby

Clara Grace bounded from the sunroom on Friday, September the tenth. She found her mommy washing dishes in the kitchen and proclaimed in a state of near hysteria, “Truck is here knocking on door!” As it turned out, the delivery of her daddy’s new steamer was the highlight of the little girl’s day.

That'll Learn Ya

Clara Grace eyed the coffee cup in her mommy’s hand with particular envy on the afternoon of Thursday, September the eighth. Mustering all her toddler charm, she laid her head on her mommy’s lap and asked sweetly, “Mommy coffee, try it? Try it please?” “I suppose we can give her a sip,” her mommy said tentatively to Clara Grace’s daddy. “Once she tries it, she’ll probably stop asking for it all the time, right?” Unfortunately, no sooner had the little girl’s lips come away from the mug, than she said in a throaty voice, “Like it! Nummy, nummy! Good coffee!”

Dog Observations

Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy took her to an outdoor concert on Friday, September the second. Their daughter proudly called out “banjo!” and “fiddle!” each time these instruments took a solo break.

After a while, her daddy decided to take her on a tour of all the dogs that had come to listen to the music. Each of the canine’s owners was proud to let the little girl pet their furry friend. First, Clara Grace met a tiny and playful Jack Russell and commented, “It’s a doggie, fast dog!” Next she met a quiet but friendly red spaniel. Much to her surprise, she got a big kiss from its large, wet tongue and said, “Wet dog! Need a towel." One of the last she met was a wiry terrier whose fastidious owner had even remembered to bring its water dish. “Water,” Clara Grace observed after taking a sip from her own cup, “doggie’s water, bye bye doggie.”

A Spoonful of Sugar is the Medicine

The morning of Saturday, August the nineteenth, was not a good one for either Clara Grace or her parents. While Clara Grace’s mommy faithfully manned the family yard sale intended to make room for Clara Grace’s soon to arrive baby brother, Clara Grace and her Daddy marched around the front yard hand in hand until the little girl took a notion to run toward the road. Instinctively, Clara Grace’s Daddy squeezed tighter to his daughter’s hand. After a strong tug from the little toddler, she whimpered in surprise, “Arm hurts!” She grasped her wrist and held it straight out gingerly. This resulted in an emergency trip to the doctor who coincidentally happened to be the very same physician who had treated Clara Grace’s mommy when she was a little girl.

“Nursemaid’s elbow,” he said definitively on first sight of the poor toddler supporting her left arm straight out by the wrist.

“I think it might actually be her wrist—“ Clara Grace’s Daddy tried to protest. “I felt a little pop and she’s been holding it—”

Before he could finish though, the doctor had Clara Grace on her mommy’s lap and had begun bending the little girl’s injured arm in what could only be described as rubber-like contortions. “It’s back in place,” the doctor reported, “she should feel better in a few hours.”

The poor little girl sat uncharacteristically motionless on the couch for the rest of the afternoon and propped her arm just as before. Finally, her mommy made the hard decision to go ahead and bring her to Nicholas’s birthday party in the hopes that she would be distracted from her misery. As expected, Clara Grace cheered up on seeing all the lively children, but hung back from fully joining in their raucous play. When it came time to eat, she allowed her mommy to hand feed her yummy cheese and crackers, hotdogs, and macaroni, but still felt it necessary to prop her left arm.

The moment of miraculous healing at last occurred when Nicholas’s mommy held out a vanilla and a chocolate cup cake to Clara Grace and asked which one she preferred. All memories of pain seemed to vanish as the little girl stretched out both arms and grasped the two cakes simultaneously.

Invented-but-Accurate English

Clara Grace’s daddy heard a tiny rumble as he watched his daughter in the bathtub on the night of Tuesday, August the fifteenth. “I Tooted!” Clara Grace informed him proudly. “Yes you did,” her daddy replied. “Bubbles!” the little girl went on discovering a new bath time diversion.

The next day, a similar tiny rumble issued from the little girl while she played with her toys in the nursery. “I bubblesed!” she exclaimed.

An Announcement

Monday, August the seventh, Clara Grace surprised her mommy by announcing from her high chair “Two spoons.” And “Two yogurts.” Which happened to be precisely the cargo her mommy had just deposited on the table for their breakfast.

Caught a Cat by the Tail

An extremely amiable cat frequented Clara Grace’s yard during her second summer. After a few meetings, the little girl developed enough courage to chase down the friendly animal and pet it’s soft back. The short-lived friendship ended abruptly however when Clara Grace decided to invite the cat into her house. Not knowing the words for a formal welcome, she decided the best plan was to take hold of the cat’s orange tail and pull in the direction of the front door. Needless to say, it was several months before Clara Grace ever could get close enough to the cat to attempt to reestablish their relationship. Her mommy took this time to give a few lessons on feline etiquette. After this instruction, Clara Grace never failed to treat the posterior of a cat’s body with proper respect. Whenever she viewed her estranged friend at a distance across the street, she would call ruefully as he scampered out of sight, “Bye bye cat, bye bye tail!”

Conversational English Progresses

Clara Grace can be said to have carried on one of her very first conversations of substance on Friday, July the fourteenth. On this afternoon, she was again watching vehicles as they whirled past her car seat. “Truck,” she announced and stared after a pickup that had caught her attention.

“You’re right,” Clara Grace’s mommy told her from the front seat, “that’s a truck.”

“Dirty truck,” Clara Grace elaborated.

“Yep, trucks get dirty a lot,” her mommy answered.

“Need to wash it,” the little girl continued.

“He does need to wash his truck,” her mommy agreed.
“Wash with water,” Clara Grace concluded apparently guessing that if it worked for her bath time, it couldn’t be a bad idea for this dirty truck as well.

Butt Nothin'

Clara Grace and her daddy prepared to board an elevator on Thursday, July thirteenth. Unfortunately, her daddy wasn’t aware of the new responsibility his daughter had recently inherited from her mommy of pushing the buttons. The little girl looked on in utter disbelief as her daddy called the elevator to their floor and the number four button lit brightly. “My butt!” she announced as she tried to convey her frustration. “My butt! My butt!”

It was during these last enthusiastic exclamations that the elevator doors slid open to reveal a full cart. “My butt!" Clara Grace protested once more then turned to the crowd, waved, and offered a cheery “Hello!” Once that courtesy was out of the way, she turned back to her daddy and, just for good measure, reminded him once more, “My butt!” Of course, this evoked riotous laughter from the confused elevator passengers.

True Love

Clara Grace’s Daddy called to say that he had made it safely to his hotel in California for another short speaking engagement on Sunday, July ninth. He talked to his daughter on the telephone for a while and then told her he would call her back the next day. When he said, “Bye, bye, Clara Grace answered, “Love you” unprompted for the very first time.

Woo-Car

Clara Grace’s attentiveness to the automobiles that barreled past her car window was obvious. She could identify already cars, trucks, busses, “Woo cars” (police cars), and fire trucks. On Sunday, July the ninth, she watched curiously as a car with a screeching fan belt drove past. Sympathetically she pointed after the vehicle in need of repair and commented, “Ah-oh, car cry.”

It's Only Fair

Clara Grace’s daddy prepared to tuck Clara Grace in for her afternoon nap on Thursday, July the sixth. The little girl realized for the first time, that she would like to start another bedtime routine and insisted, “Mommy kiss.” Ever since then, no matter which parent gets her ready for bed, the other must at least receive one kiss before she drops off to sleep.

Sweet and Salty Dreams

Clara Grace had taken Tylenol for her swollen gums and fever but still lay in bed with mommy during a restless night of teething Monday, July the third. At least for that night, her mommy didn’t have to wonder too much about the dreams flitting through her daughter’s tiny brain. In her sleep, Clara Grace contentedly murmured, “chicken, yummy yum yum.”

I Think So

Sunday, July the second, Clara Grace asked her mommy from the backseat of the car, “Is Nonnie here?” The little girl had obviously been missing her cousin Donnie whom she’d played with under Grandma’s supervision while her mommy taught Spanish a few hours each week during the school year. Mommy said sadly, “I don’t think so.” Much to her mommy’s surprise, Clara Grace replied confidently, “I think so.”

Food Critic

No matter how enthusiastically her parents presented vegetables, fruits, and meats, Clara Grace never seemed quite able to trust many foods that strayed too far from some shade of beige. Needless to say, her mommy and daddy smiled politely, but didn’t slow down when a not so savory character with a nose ring and dreadlocks offered their daughter some teriyaki chicken on a toothpick outside the China Express. Much to their disbelief and slight chagrin, their finicky daughter gulped it down as though she’d never been fed in her life. She then used her powerful, one-year-old charm to win another sample and scarfed if from the stick twice as fast.

Sick as a Dog

While Clara Grace ate in her high chair on the morning of Tuesday, June twenty-seventh, her mommy noticed that the little girl seemed a bit stuffy and coughed every so often. “Are you okay?” her mommy asked sympathetically. Clara Grace responded in an extremely dejected voice, “No! Not okay not okay!” Her mommy realized actually acting sick during a cold was just one more little sign her baby was growing up all too quickly.

Share

On Saturday June the twenty-fourth, Clara Grace played at the Children’s Discovery Museum with her mommy. She watched enviously as other children raced around with a popping lawn mower. Finally a little boy discarded the coveted toy and she dashed in for her chance. Unfortunately, her triumph was short lived. She got in about three good pops, then decided to lay the lawnmower’s handle down for just one fraction of a second to give her mommy a toy shaker with which she had previously been playing. Another eager child swooped in right under poor Clara Grace’s nose and merrily popped away with the mower. As Clara Grace looked on in amazement and disappointment, her mommy heard her repeating softly an unhappy mantra of “Share, share, share, share.”

Peaceful Protest

By Friday, June the twenty-third, Clara Grace was becoming very good at communicating with words the things she did and did not want. This was a welcome relief to her parents who had often found themselves completely baffled by their daughter’s enthusiastic gestures, grunts, and cries in past months. On that particular evening, Clara Grace’s daddy had finished lathering her up with soap and then directed, “Okay, sit down in the water so I can get the soap off.” “No!” Clara Grace answered defiantly. “Clara Grace,” her daddy repeated in a firmer tone, “sit down.” “No, no,” his daughter whimpered, “Poopy,” she added and pointed out a floating log which obviously held contradictions for her when presented in the same context as cleaning off in the bathwater.

What's Important

On Thursday, June twenty-second, Clara Grace’s mommy set a bowl of oatmeal and a banana on her daughter’s high chair tray and then got busy preparing her own breakfast. With the push of a button, the family coffee machine whirred into action. No doubt, this sound brought to the minds of both mommy and daughter the family’s true coffee aficionado who was away on a four day speaking engagement. “Foffee,” Clara Grace commented as the lights on the machine blinked to life. “You’re right, I’m making coffee.” Her mommy answered. “Yum yum,” Clara Grace remarked then went back to scooping her oatmeal. Later that morning on the phone, Clara Grace’s mommy was sure to relate the influence Clara Grace’s daddy had already had on his one-year-old daughter.

One, Two...Skip a Few...100

On Sunday, June fourth, Clara Grace’s Daddy packed up the luggage from a weekend trip to Gatlinburg with the Whisman family. While he worked, he allowed his little girl to indulge in one of her favorite activities, pretending to drive his big, red car. After a few moments of two much quiet from the front seat though, he decided it would be prudent to investigate. What he found was Clara Grace on the floorboard helping herself to the travel stash of animal crackers. “What are you doing?” he asked rhetorically. “Mamamal crackers,” Clara Grace answered nervously. “I see that,” her daddy sighed, “and how many have you eaten?” he inquired not expecting any answer. “One, two…” his daughter replied.

Rats

On Monday, May the twenty-ninth, Clara Grace’s mommy made conversation with her daughter on the way home from a long trip of errands. “When we get out of the car, do you want to take a bath?” “No,” Clara Grace responded from her car seat. Always enjoying the thrill of outwitting a one year old, and knowing his daughter’s fondness for the word “no,” Clara Grace’s daddy then asked slyly, “Are you sure?” “Without a second’s hesitation, Clara Grace answered definitely, I’m sure.”

Calls it as She Sees It

On Monday, May the fifteenth Clara Grace sat on her Daddy’s lap while her mommy washed dishes across the house. Apparently Clara Grace felt the injustice of a rule being broken as her parents conversed across the space of the living room and over the noise of the running water. “Too loud!” she announced with finality.

So PAY!

On Saturday, May the thirteenth, Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy began to notice a strange form of pig latin creeping into their daughter’s vocabulary. Suddenly, once easily understandable words such as soap, no, and shoe, needed decoding. Thankfully the key was fairly simple; draw out the first part of a one-syllable word, then add “ay” very enthusiastically onto the ending. This created words like, “Soapay, shoeay, noay, noseay.” (Soap, sounds like So-PAY! for example.)

Birding Baby

Clara Grace shared her mommy and daddy’s hobby of bird watching even from an early age. She quickly developed the ability to recognize and identify three birds in the wild by their calls. When Clara Grace heard a crow, she exclaimed "Co, co!" When a Blue Jay flew over our yard and made its call, she jumped up excitedly and shouted, "Jay jay!" And whenever she heard the sad song of the morning dove, she informed her mommy, "Duh, duh!"

One...Two...THREE!

Clara Grace climbed nimbly to the top of her new slide time after time. Once at the top, she had a habit of getting her mommy’s attention by calling “Two, two, two…” until her mommy finally got the hint that it was her job to watch and count to three.

Masterpiece

Tuesday, April the eighteenth Clara Grace sat politely in her restaurant highchair and waited for her food. To pass the time, she colored streaks and dots of orange and blue on her paper placemat. Then, as if to acknowledge the true worth of her masterpiece, she laid down her crayons and kissed the abstract three times.

Backseat Driver

Clara Grace showed the first signs of becoming a backseat driver right around this time. Whenever her daddy took a curve a tad sharply or rode over a bump in the road, a firm “Whoa daddy!” came from the occupant of the car seat behind him. “Thanks baby,” her daddy replied obnoxiously and then made sure to give the next bump just a little bit more bounce.

A Discerning Ear

One habit of Clara Grace’s which her mommy and daddy find particularly adorable is her way of really listening to a song and then announcing her approval of a select few by a quick but enthusiastic “Yea!” after the final note has sounded. The reason her mommy and daddy find this habit particularly endearing is that while professional musicians score only the occasional “Yea”, whenever one of the amateur songs recorded in mommy and daddy’s home studio is played, Clara Grace never fails to be encouraging with resounding and decisive “ “Yea!”

Zoo Adventures

Clara Grace’s zoo visit on the morning of Monday, April the third proved to be quite eventful. She was high fived by an enthusiastic orangutan through the glass enclosure and if that wasn’t up close and personal enough, she was actually pecked right on the head by an African Crowned Crain. She ran straight for mommy, and although there were not many tears, that bird still retains one of the prime spots on her “Things not to be trusted” list.

On Friday, April the fourteenth, Clara Grace gave her mommy a flower for the very first time. While walking on a wooded path through the zoo, Clara Grace bent down to examine a pink petal on the trail. Then, deciding it was worth further notice, she marched back to her mommy and announced “Flow,” as she placed the silky petal in her mommy’s palm.

Riding Along in my Automobile

On Sunday, March the twenty-fifth, Clara Grace’s Daddy allowed her to pretend she was driving his big, red car while he worked on cleaning the automobile. Once it was clear that Clara Grace had mastered horn honking, a new game had to be found, so her daddy put her into her little motorized, blue car. After a few more minutes of productive cleaning, her daddy heard the whirring sound of the battery-operated motor, alerting him that Clara Grace was on the move. He looked up to see her pulling out of the garage and into the driveway as though she’d been driving all her life.

Whatever Works

Clara Grace was visiting her Nana and Baba in Michigan on Wednesday, March the twenty-second. All the grown-ups were finishing lunch that afternoon and clearly not paying Clara Grace enough attention, so she devised a plan. She toddled down the hall to her bedroom, climbed up onto the bed and grabbed her changing pad. Then, she dragged the pad back down the hall, and laid it out flat near the table. Once she had situated herself in a comfortable supine position on the mat she announced, “Diaper.” Upon inspection, her mommy found the little girl not very in need of a new diaper, but the plan had succeeded.

English Language Learner

On the morning of March the thirty-first, Clara Grace greeted her daddy with the words, “Hi, diaper, yes.”

It is amazing what social skills and conversation topics Clara Grace can glean from her meager vocabulary. She began a new custom on Saturday, April the first, which she maintained for months afterwards. Her mommy and daddy had taken her out for an omelet at the Waffle House. Of course, it wasn’t long before one of the waitresses stopped to say hello to the adorable little girl. Clara Grace returned the greeting and then, so as not to be rude, went on with further introductions. “Mommy,” she informed the waitress and patted her mommy. “Daddy,” she announced pointing across the booth to where her daddy sat.

Due to a backup in the dishwasher drain, Daddy spent all of the first week in April putting in a new kitchen floor. Fortunately this time, he had occasional help on the job. Whenever Clara Grace wandered into the worksite, she dutifully handed Daddy a nail and then joined in the hammering by exclaiming, “Boom, boom, boom!”

Jump!

On Thursday, March the sixteenth Clara Grace bent low to the ground, then thrust her arms up into the air with a loud exclamation of “Mmmm!” The sheer force of this motion actually propelled one foot from the ground. It was clear that this was Clara Grace’s first attempt at a jump. Within several weeks, both feet cleared two to three inches and she began replacing the exclamation with the actual word “Jump!”

More Conversational English

Monday, February the twentieth Clara Grace and her mommy played in the yard. Clara Grace surprised her mommy by pointing toward a mourning dove pecking around the bottom of the giant cedar tree and announcing “bird.”

One afternoon in early February Clara Grace’s mommy asked her daughter if she could kick her pink ball. She was surprised to see the coordinated little girl kick the ball several times all the way across the yard.

Plan B

Clara Grace sat with her mommy and daddy at the dinner table on Saturday, February the eighteenth. She diligently plunged her fork into her bowl of noodles each time she wanted another bite. Nothing ever emerged on the tines so plan B was always a quick dive with her fingers.

Daddy is Part Machine

It became evident that Clara Grace had become accustomed to her Daddy’s routine after half a year through the double load of his master’s program. On the morning of Thursday, February the sixteenth she got a diaper change from Mommy and ran straight to the computer calling, “Daddy, daddy!”

T

Thursday, February the ninth, Clara Grace announced “T” and plucked the corresponding letter from the refrigerator door. Her mommy and daddy were shocked to say the least. She repeated this game several times though and was correct even when her mommy sneakily mixed up the magnetic letters.

No-No, Aunt Amy!

Monday February the sixth, Clara Grace watched in complete shock as her Aunt Amy, who for all practical purposes could be considered a grown-up, spilled her drink all over the restaurant table. The little girl was the first to speak offering a very loud and heartfelt, “Uh-oh!” “Should we say “No, no Amy?” Grandma asked jokingly. “No no,” Clara Grace replied delighted to be on the other end of that phrase.

Kid's Eye View

On Saturday, February the fourth, Clara Grace went to one of her favorite places, the Tennessee Aquarium. So many eventful things happened on this trip that they are worth recording.

1. First of all, a gigantic, six-inch, purple butterfly took a decided liking to the little girl and fluttered inches from her face. Clara Grace, on the other hand, did not return the insect’s friendly attention and batted at it until being rescued by Daddy.
2. Second, Clara Grace who is usually very shy around strangers came completely out of her shell that afternoon. On one occasion, she spotted a group of six adults standing in a circle and deep in conversation. She noticed the single opening left in the group and stepped in, hands folded behind her and face tilted upward to the towering grown-ups as if to say, “Don’t mind me, just carry on with whatever it was you were saying.”
3. At another point, she saw a man standing near a tank of fish, which she could see so much better if she could stand on the ledge in front. Noticing that he was closer than Mommy or Daddy, she decided to try out talking to someone else for a change. “Up, up!” she demanded.
4. Another strange thing that day was how different floor textures seemed to fascinate her. Whenever there was a switch from tile to carpet, or a metal grate, she was obligated to examine it thoroughly. Any of these things took precedence over whatever her mommy or daddy were showing her, whether it was a ten foot shark or a six foot catfish.

Organized Crime

On Tuesday, January the twenty-ninth, Clara Grace decided to try out some acrobatics. She gripped the fireplace screen firmly and began her ascent. This was followed by a very loud clang at which point Clara Grace must have been more than a little surprised to find herself staring up at the ceiling. It didn’t take very long for her mommy to make things better and within five minutes, she was back to tapping at the screen experimentally. “No, no!” her mommy said firmly. “Don’t touch.” The lure of adventure was strong though. Finally, after repeated warnings from mommy, Clara Grace relented. She headed for her toy basket and picked up her Baby Tad. Cautiously she stepped close enough to the fireplace to place baby Tad’s hand on the screen.

That Tad can be so bad.

Deductive Reasoning at its Best

When Clara Grace was fifteen months old, she began showing the very first hints of moving away from diapers and toward the potty. Grandma watched her zip around and around the living room with her shopping cart when all at once, she skidded to a halt, announced “Uh oh,” and squatted. That next Saturday morning, Clara Grace sat on the couch with her mommy and daddy proudly stuffing shapes into their appropriate holes in her shape sorter. “What do you think that means when she says ‘uh oh’ and grabs her pants?” Daddy asked curiously. “Hmm,” said mommy and sniffed, “I think it means she needs a new diaper.”

Gifts from the Heart

Clara Grace and her mommy enjoyed an uncharacteristically warm day in the yard on Wednesday, January the eleventh. Clara Grace scoured the yard while Mommy listened to the birdsongs and savored the warm breeze. Every so often, Clara Grace marched triumphantly to mommy’s porch swing and said, “Uhhh!” which her mommy knew to mean “Here!” Eight times, Clara Grace placed a miniature pinecone into her mommy’s hands. “Thank you, for the pinecone” Clara Grace’s mommy said excitedly each time. Her enthusiasm was genuine, for these pinecones represented eight generous treasures born completely of her daughter’s own effort and discovery.

Vocabulary Expansion Continues

More and more words are finding their way into Clara Grace’s vocabulary. On Monday, January, the ninth she said “Good job, bath, ball, sock.”

She's So Grown-Up!

Clara Grace went to a baby shower on Saturday, January the seventh. She watched curiously as all the adults performed the strange ritual of placing an animal cracker somewhere on a prostrate and very pregnant woman. Next, each woman had to take a turn removing one of the crackers with their mouths. Finally Clara Grace could take it no longer, with unexpected determination she burst into the crowd and grabbed for an elephant on the mommy-to-be’s leg. “Oh no!” the other women shouted and blocked her path just in the nick of time. Clara Grace’s mommy picked her up and considered how she might possibly explain that this silly game was grown ups only.

Vocabulary

Words seem to be bubbling out of Clara Grace now. On Monday, January the second, she said car, dog, good, banana, and yum yum. Some words which the little girl chose to emulate, mommy didn’t even realize she said so often, but Clara Grace’s regular repetition of “Cool,” has led mommy to examine her unfortunate hang-up on certain vocabulary from the eighty’s.

Prized Possessions

On Tuesday, January the third, Clara Grace’s friend Ashlyn came for a visit. Both girls played happily while their parents ate and talked. Clara Grace seemed more than pleased to share any of the toys from her abundant stock, any that is, except her pink, bouncing ball. Somewhere midway through dinner, she devised a plan that would allow her to free up her hands for another toy while at the same time keeping her prized treasure safe. She placed the ball on her mommy’s lap and made abundantly clear through grunts and “No, no's” that under no circumstances was mommy to put the ball back on the ground.

Conversational English

Wednesday, January the fourth Clara Grace spoke these words for the very first time: stuck, cup, book, and poop.