Pacifier Debate

Clara Grace bounded to meet her daddy as he came home from work on the afternoon of Friday, September the twenty-ninth. After greeting him with a hug she asked, “Fire, please,” which meant she would like a pacifier. Once her daddy had retrieved her precious pacification device, she decided to press her luck with a further request. “Two fires?” ventured the hopeful little girl. “How many mouths do you have?” her daddy asked rhetorically. “One, two,” Clara Grace replied slyly. “One mouth, one fire,” her daddy answered without wavering. Clara Grace stood thoughtfully for a moment and then made her final plea, “Two hands, two fires.” With their one-year-old daughter’s current level of reasoning and verbal repartee, her mommy and daddy have high hopes for a prosperous future in law.

Playtime Etiquette

Clara Grace and her mommy enjoyed a play date with Nicholas, one of Clara Grace’s best friends on the morning of Thursday, September the twenty-eighth. The two toddlers giggled almost uncontrollably as they raced each other to the top of the two slides in Clara Grace’s back yard then sped shooting down. Then came a very proud moment for Clara Grace’s mommy as Nicholas decided to switch slides. The little girl stepped back allowing Nicholas to pass, looked at her mommy and announced, “Share, share slide.”

Phonics

Clara Grace proudly pushed the letter “B” on the refrigerator to hear the sound it made on the morning of Tuesday, September the nineteenth. “B-b-b,” she told her mommy enthusiastically. “You’re right,” her mommy encouraged, “’B’ says ‘b’ like b-b-b-baby or b-b-b-ball.” Clara Grace considered this for a moment then surprised her mommy by saying, “B-b-b-book!”

What Happened in Shoe?

Clara Grace’s Daddy got her dressed on the morning of Saturday, September the sixteenth. As her daddy hurried through the finishing touches of shoes and socks, Clara Grace exclaimed suddenly, “Ah! What happened in shoe?” Her daddy reexamined the situation only to find a crumpled sock stuffed all the way in the shoe’s toe. When the little girl heard her mommy repeating this story and the laughter it received, she commented “Funny joke,” and often repeated, “What happened in shoe, ha ha ha!” as her feet were shod.

The Last Inhibition

Clara Grace’s daddy removed his little girl’s wet pajamas and snapped a new diaper in place on the morning of Saturday, September the sixteenth. Clara Grace exclaimed, “Ouch! Hurt foot! Foot hurts! After kicking her big toe on the wooden rail of the diaper table. Miserably, she glanced up at her daddy and requested, “Kiss it?” Her daddy, who would normally do anything to wipe away his daughter’s pain, was more than slightly reluctant on this particular occasion owing to the fact that Clara Grace had completely soaked her pajamas and sheets the past night. In the spirit of compromise, her daddy offered, “I’ll kiss your cheek,” but Clara Grace wiggled her tiny toes and replied, “No, kiss foot.” Upon seeing his options were none, her daddy gingerly kissed the very tip of the little girl’s big toe. “Hug it?” Clara Grace persisted and of course, her daddy eventually succumbed to this request as well.

Consider the Consequences

Clara Grace’s daddy balanced her high up on the afternoon of Friday, September the fifteenth. She eyed the enormous and inactive ceiling fan and pleaded, “Up, up fan.” To her surprise, she stretched out her hand and actually moved the giant blade. As the fan slowly rotated away from her, she waved and called, “Bye bye fan.” Predictably though, the next blade in line followed and gently tapped the back of her head. “Bonk the head,” she announced in surprise.

Calling Us Names

Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy woke her early from her nap on the afternoon of Wednesday, September the fourteenth for her mommy’s doctor’s appointment. Their daughter popped up from the mattress as they tiptoed into the room and greeted them, “Jeff, Marcy!” Needless to say, this was quite a shock to the parents who weren’t even aware that their little girl knew their names. “Hopefully if she regresses when her baby brother is born, she’ll go back to calling us mommy and daddy,” her daddy mused.

Danger Baby Robinson

Clara Grace played with her daddy in the department store on the evening of Saturday, September the eleventh. “Crawl under here,” he urged his little girl pointing out one of the doughnut shaped clothes racks under which he had spent many happy hours while his own mommy shopped. Clara Grace wasn’t interested though, so her daddy attempted one more tack. “Be careful,” he warned and glanced ominously once more at the hanging garments, “be very careful!”

Immediately, Clara Grace looked back at the rack with renewed interest. She pushed through the clothes glancing over her shoulder every few seconds and grinning at her daddy. One can only wonder what activities this daredevil attitude will lead to in the future.

Mailbaby

Clara Grace bounded from the sunroom on Friday, September the tenth. She found her mommy washing dishes in the kitchen and proclaimed in a state of near hysteria, “Truck is here knocking on door!” As it turned out, the delivery of her daddy’s new steamer was the highlight of the little girl’s day.

That'll Learn Ya

Clara Grace eyed the coffee cup in her mommy’s hand with particular envy on the afternoon of Thursday, September the eighth. Mustering all her toddler charm, she laid her head on her mommy’s lap and asked sweetly, “Mommy coffee, try it? Try it please?” “I suppose we can give her a sip,” her mommy said tentatively to Clara Grace’s daddy. “Once she tries it, she’ll probably stop asking for it all the time, right?” Unfortunately, no sooner had the little girl’s lips come away from the mug, than she said in a throaty voice, “Like it! Nummy, nummy! Good coffee!”

Dog Observations

Clara Grace’s mommy and daddy took her to an outdoor concert on Friday, September the second. Their daughter proudly called out “banjo!” and “fiddle!” each time these instruments took a solo break.

After a while, her daddy decided to take her on a tour of all the dogs that had come to listen to the music. Each of the canine’s owners was proud to let the little girl pet their furry friend. First, Clara Grace met a tiny and playful Jack Russell and commented, “It’s a doggie, fast dog!” Next she met a quiet but friendly red spaniel. Much to her surprise, she got a big kiss from its large, wet tongue and said, “Wet dog! Need a towel." One of the last she met was a wiry terrier whose fastidious owner had even remembered to bring its water dish. “Water,” Clara Grace observed after taking a sip from her own cup, “doggie’s water, bye bye doggie.”

A Spoonful of Sugar is the Medicine

The morning of Saturday, August the nineteenth, was not a good one for either Clara Grace or her parents. While Clara Grace’s mommy faithfully manned the family yard sale intended to make room for Clara Grace’s soon to arrive baby brother, Clara Grace and her Daddy marched around the front yard hand in hand until the little girl took a notion to run toward the road. Instinctively, Clara Grace’s Daddy squeezed tighter to his daughter’s hand. After a strong tug from the little toddler, she whimpered in surprise, “Arm hurts!” She grasped her wrist and held it straight out gingerly. This resulted in an emergency trip to the doctor who coincidentally happened to be the very same physician who had treated Clara Grace’s mommy when she was a little girl.

“Nursemaid’s elbow,” he said definitively on first sight of the poor toddler supporting her left arm straight out by the wrist.

“I think it might actually be her wrist—“ Clara Grace’s Daddy tried to protest. “I felt a little pop and she’s been holding it—”

Before he could finish though, the doctor had Clara Grace on her mommy’s lap and had begun bending the little girl’s injured arm in what could only be described as rubber-like contortions. “It’s back in place,” the doctor reported, “she should feel better in a few hours.”

The poor little girl sat uncharacteristically motionless on the couch for the rest of the afternoon and propped her arm just as before. Finally, her mommy made the hard decision to go ahead and bring her to Nicholas’s birthday party in the hopes that she would be distracted from her misery. As expected, Clara Grace cheered up on seeing all the lively children, but hung back from fully joining in their raucous play. When it came time to eat, she allowed her mommy to hand feed her yummy cheese and crackers, hotdogs, and macaroni, but still felt it necessary to prop her left arm.

The moment of miraculous healing at last occurred when Nicholas’s mommy held out a vanilla and a chocolate cup cake to Clara Grace and asked which one she preferred. All memories of pain seemed to vanish as the little girl stretched out both arms and grasped the two cakes simultaneously.

Invented-but-Accurate English

Clara Grace’s daddy heard a tiny rumble as he watched his daughter in the bathtub on the night of Tuesday, August the fifteenth. “I Tooted!” Clara Grace informed him proudly. “Yes you did,” her daddy replied. “Bubbles!” the little girl went on discovering a new bath time diversion.

The next day, a similar tiny rumble issued from the little girl while she played with her toys in the nursery. “I bubblesed!” she exclaimed.

An Announcement

Monday, August the seventh, Clara Grace surprised her mommy by announcing from her high chair “Two spoons.” And “Two yogurts.” Which happened to be precisely the cargo her mommy had just deposited on the table for their breakfast.

Caught a Cat by the Tail

An extremely amiable cat frequented Clara Grace’s yard during her second summer. After a few meetings, the little girl developed enough courage to chase down the friendly animal and pet it’s soft back. The short-lived friendship ended abruptly however when Clara Grace decided to invite the cat into her house. Not knowing the words for a formal welcome, she decided the best plan was to take hold of the cat’s orange tail and pull in the direction of the front door. Needless to say, it was several months before Clara Grace ever could get close enough to the cat to attempt to reestablish their relationship. Her mommy took this time to give a few lessons on feline etiquette. After this instruction, Clara Grace never failed to treat the posterior of a cat’s body with proper respect. Whenever she viewed her estranged friend at a distance across the street, she would call ruefully as he scampered out of sight, “Bye bye cat, bye bye tail!”

Conversational English Progresses

Clara Grace can be said to have carried on one of her very first conversations of substance on Friday, July the fourteenth. On this afternoon, she was again watching vehicles as they whirled past her car seat. “Truck,” she announced and stared after a pickup that had caught her attention.

“You’re right,” Clara Grace’s mommy told her from the front seat, “that’s a truck.”

“Dirty truck,” Clara Grace elaborated.

“Yep, trucks get dirty a lot,” her mommy answered.

“Need to wash it,” the little girl continued.

“He does need to wash his truck,” her mommy agreed.
“Wash with water,” Clara Grace concluded apparently guessing that if it worked for her bath time, it couldn’t be a bad idea for this dirty truck as well.

Butt Nothin'

Clara Grace and her daddy prepared to board an elevator on Thursday, July thirteenth. Unfortunately, her daddy wasn’t aware of the new responsibility his daughter had recently inherited from her mommy of pushing the buttons. The little girl looked on in utter disbelief as her daddy called the elevator to their floor and the number four button lit brightly. “My butt!” she announced as she tried to convey her frustration. “My butt! My butt!”

It was during these last enthusiastic exclamations that the elevator doors slid open to reveal a full cart. “My butt!" Clara Grace protested once more then turned to the crowd, waved, and offered a cheery “Hello!” Once that courtesy was out of the way, she turned back to her daddy and, just for good measure, reminded him once more, “My butt!” Of course, this evoked riotous laughter from the confused elevator passengers.

True Love

Clara Grace’s Daddy called to say that he had made it safely to his hotel in California for another short speaking engagement on Sunday, July ninth. He talked to his daughter on the telephone for a while and then told her he would call her back the next day. When he said, “Bye, bye, Clara Grace answered, “Love you” unprompted for the very first time.

Woo-Car

Clara Grace’s attentiveness to the automobiles that barreled past her car window was obvious. She could identify already cars, trucks, busses, “Woo cars” (police cars), and fire trucks. On Sunday, July the ninth, she watched curiously as a car with a screeching fan belt drove past. Sympathetically she pointed after the vehicle in need of repair and commented, “Ah-oh, car cry.”

It's Only Fair

Clara Grace’s daddy prepared to tuck Clara Grace in for her afternoon nap on Thursday, July the sixth. The little girl realized for the first time, that she would like to start another bedtime routine and insisted, “Mommy kiss.” Ever since then, no matter which parent gets her ready for bed, the other must at least receive one kiss before she drops off to sleep.